[Music]
Welcome To The King podcast season 2 today we’re joined with Maddie would you be able to introduce yourself just for
the people listen in at home yeah absolutely so I’m Maddie I’m one of The Midwives at Kings I currently work as a
mid referee advisor which is a new team that we’ve set up over the past three or four months um so I work with a couple
of other midwives basically being everyone’s Midwife so we’re no one specific we’re open for everybody it’s a
complimentary thing we’re always around for Dro and support and we teach the antinator classes um new silly questions
for us we have a WhatsApp line so anytime anything you want to know in your pregnancy you can always reach out
to us um as well as um my background is for the last year I’ve been working on the labor Ward here at Kings so um a bit
of both and I still hope to do a few shifts on the labor Ward for is where my heart is um but it’s great experience
you know for for real life scenarios that all the questions that often get asked it’s a good thing you said no City
questions because we might have a lot of City questions today Danielle and I have never been pregnant we want to put
ourselves in the position of pregnant women and talk about pregnancy fears today so let’s start with right as you
get pregnant what kind of requ questions do women come to you with like just as they got pregnant or found out I think
the biggest thing is like what do I do now because I think I mean it’s scary taking a pregnancy test one if you know
is it going to be positive is it negative and also there’s so many scenarios why people do them you know
have they been trying for a long time is it a surprise unplanned or you’ve just
had a baby and then recently found out you’re pregnant again which happens a lot and we can get into that later but
yeah often it’s just like that shock you know even if you’ve been trying and trying it’s still a oh my God like it’s
happening so often it’s like okay what now so especially here in Dubai because
it’s consultant L care and the first thing really is like to choose a doctor we have the luxury of doing that here in
Dubai so always I just send them straight to like a website and just say have a look through you know we have so
many different doctors that are so good in all their own different ways so that honestly for a lot of people is like a
make or break kind of thing you know either you know it’s because of the language that they speak so they feel
more comfortable speaking in their in their mother tongue or it’s because they specialize in like natural birth or
C-section or high-risk pregnancy and often even if you’re pregnant for the first time you’d know if you had
something that would mean you’d need something you know medical history or something like that um so that’s kind of
the place to start and then obviously the midwives are around so often if they’re coming in for their first
appointment we’ll just say come and chat with us because always there is so many questions what can I eat eat what can I
not eat what can I do am I allowed to exercise like all of these kind of like just general questions but they are
obviously important ones because we do we don’t want to harm our our six week old baby or whatever time you find out
so yeah they’re kind of the general ones really for the start so I guess one of the big questions that you get is when
can I tell people yeah definitely and I think the thing is there’s no right or wrong so if you especially people always
want to tell like their moms or you know the person that they know who’s been pregnant because they want to get that
reassurance and ask all the questions to and I always have you know I’m always the first to know because usually they
text me and they’re like what do I do you know and it can be from the moment you take the pregnancy test if you need
that support or for other people they want to wait until the kind of big screening tests and things like that so
the first kind of bigger test that you’ll have is around the 12we point where they do the first scan and they
test for lots of different conditions so things like down syndrome um Edward’s syndrome P things like that so often
they kind of you know big conditions that it’s worth thinking about beforehand some people will choose not
to do the screening um some people will um and then the other test is around the 20 weeks where they have the anomaly
scan so again that’s looking at all the structures for the baby and things like that so some people especially if
they’ve maybe had a miscarriage before or a baby with one of the conditions um
and they might tend to wait a bit longer and however there’s kind of a more recent food for thought that actually
people don’t want to tell you know their friends and family in case they were to have a miscarriage or something went
wrong but actually I think about it like if you did have these things happen to you you want the support from those
people so actually you know if you do have a few trusted people that would support you through anything positive or
negative then my thought is maybe you should tell those people because they can support you then throughout
everything yeah that’s so true I feel like from the minute you find out there’s so many things that you could be
thinking of so many concerns running through your mind I bet a lot of moms like from that first appointment leave
it with like a weight listed off of their shoulders like get all of these questions out speak to obviously
professionals I that that feeling is like yeah I hope so that’s the aim anyway but also like now we started our
new Instagram page so the idea for that because you can Google everything I’m always like please don’t Google things
because Dr Google is never a good idea and especially with pregnancy one thing will tell you you can do it one will
tell you you can’t and you know it’s it’s just never a good idea so the idea is with our team and and obviously like
good sources of support and like the Instagram is it’s all the contents come from us so we meted it all we have made
sure it’s evidence-based and also the evidence-based changes all the time so I’ve been a midwife a qualified Midwife
now for almost four years and in that time even from what I was taught in University to now some of that advice
has completely changed so it’s for us as well to stay up to date so always it’s one of those kind of you know what is
that latest evidence why is that a thing and also converting it to duai as well
because for me obviously I’m from the UK and I trained in the UK as a midwife and the practice there is similar because
we’re in Kings London and we try and match that as much as possible but there’s differences so even like for a newborn baby the temperature is very
different here to in the UK so what’s the different advice for hot weather and stay hydrated and that kind of thing so
yeah for me always I try and stay as up to date as possible because like you say I’m the adop to Google so I need to be
making sure the information I’m giving is you know solid and evidence-based it’s quite nice that
there’s one team as well because Google can be quite overwhelming I think pregnancy in itself can be quite
overwhelming so something else that people must have a lot of questions about espe in the first trimester is
what foods I can and can’t eat and there’s so many foods that people have questions about so what would you say to
them I could go on all day about what foods and drinks and things like that but always I tend to stick with again
because I’m British Dre Midwife I often stick to like the NHS guidelines um so
actually on the NHS website the UK um NHS is basically an A to Z of all the
foods and whether they’re safe and whether they’re not and how cooked they need to be and what precautions you need to take so that’s often a really good
way to start and then if there’s any specific questions then I can try and help around that but like I say it’s
difficult because things do change so quickly all the time so sometimes I’m even researching things because they
could have changed since I last looked or whatever whereas something like that is always being updated all the time
there’s teams specifically to do that and so usually I kind of will say you know take a look at that and then let me
know if there’s more questions um Cathy is another one as well because a lot of
people have a lot of copy so actually that wasn’t a point that you but
absolutely you know especially if you’re really tired in early pregnancy which often is the case um but in general they
just say like 200 milligrams so usually like one average size cup a day and then
or have Decap um as well is important and same actually with breastfeeding on the other side people kind of forget
about it by then um but actually caffeinees in a lot of things you don’t think about you know some like fizzy
drinks like you know I don’t if I’m allowed to mention names fizzy drinks
and um like even panad doll some panad dolls have caffeine in um so it’s just
really being aware and you can drive yourself crazy with some of these things but I always just think if you’re ever
unsure that’s what our numbers for I have countless times ladies just sending me pictures of the back of a packet and
saying is this okay or not but that’s that’s fine that’s what we’re here for so okay so the only time Dr Google is
allowed is when you’re at the NHS website but what foods can I and can’t I use okay oh NHS in general is
okay yeah so the first trimester people are generally
confused um so many questions what’s the second trimester like um honestly it’s
often people feel it better by the H of so maybe like morning sickness and things have kind of subsided and so they
talk about like the pregnancy glow and things like that but also I think it’s really important because especially in
the day and age that we’re living in every think social media related it’s normal to not feel the pregnancy GL and
feel super amazing and you know you’ve got a bump and all of these things like some people have a tough time in
pregnancy and they are really tired and and don’t feel like you know doing a lot of the things they normally would do so
I think normalizing that is really important as well and but often women say that that’s kind of their favorite
time of being pregnant because they’re not super pregnant so they haven’t got like maybe the aches and pains they might have later on um and then the
sickness is maybe gone as well so often it’s kind of yeah maybe a an nicer time
as part of the pregnancy and at that point especially around like the 28 week Mark is when really we talk about like a
pattern of baby’s movements and things like that so you know that also makes it very real for a lot of people they’ve
maybe felt a few flutters and things and think is it a kick is it not but really from then and and again that’s a big
advice that we always give to all women is babies movements are their only way of actually telling you if they’re okay
or not so listen to them get to know their pattern um and again that’s something that the evidence has changed
over the years so sometimes we hear people saying like you know actually
they might slow down their movements near the end of pregnancy because they’ve run out of room but it’s all myths so they should not change their
pattern at all and it’s not even just like a re Bo movements it could just be that okay every morning I wake up and
they’re kicking away and then one morning they are kicking but they’re kicking a bit less than normal or they’re not kicking at all all of those
times after 28 weeks when you learn their pattern um we always want you to
come in and get checked because like I say that’s their way of communicating with us and it is you know often you
come in we put the the ctg monitor on and then they start kicking right crazy which is brilliant but I always say like
we’d rather you come in 10 times and every time they kick like crazy and that one time you know so that’s a really
important thing that we do always kind of spread the word about cuz there is a lot of kind of misinformation around
that um another one we always hear as well is like sit down spend an hour like
have a sugary drink have something to eat and actually that’s not the current evidence because that’s just delaying
you coming for a checkup you know and if your baby is showing signs that they’re not so happy and they we need to do
something then youve put that off by an hour cuz you sat and You’ eat and then you know after you’ve s out half an hour
to get to the hospital or whatever it is um so yeah that’s kind of a big message
that I think is important in that second trimester to really know about and then obviously that’s tipping over into the
third trimester as well so as a woman your body is changing and I think
probably in the second trimester is when you first experienced those big changes what you said yeah I think so and I mean
a lot of it hormonally is really like first trimester because your body’s realizing it’s pregnant and it needs to
do a lot of things and the tiredness is really a big thing because because you can’t see anything necessarily you
almost forget how much your body is doing like especially in the first 12 weeks all those major components you
know the spinal cord and the neural Pathways and all of these really important things are being made and you
know then obviously the second trimester is more like the little details so you know the fingernails and the eyelashes
and things like that and you know always no matter what you’re doing even if you’re sleeping your body’s still making
this little human so I think it’s easy to forget how much it is doing and you know always I get as like oh I’m so
tired or I’m always really thirsty I’m always hungry it’s like well yeah you’re doing a lot of work like you need to
fuel your body and often especially in the first trimester with sickness and things like that is just eat them little
and often because you still need to fuel your body and same with the second trimester well all the way to sure
really but stay well hydrated if you don’t feel like big meals at least like snack little and often and then you’re
at least given your body a chance because these babies they just take take take care from you so they will leave
you feeling rubbish if you’re not replenishing that and and often as well maybe you need like iron supplements or
something because again that’s a common thing for pregnancy to have lower iron again your baby’s taking it all from you
um so it’s just fuel in your body going forward as well as so important I feel
like a lot of concerns that you’ll mainly get is kind of fear of Labor
especially for first time LS I mean we had a quick discussion before the podcast and like what would our concerns
be and what would our fear be and a lot of it was about mine was be the exact like giving birth that would be the
scariest part of I think it’s the the pain Association right and it even like
in films TV it it looks scary yeah and so what kind of concerns do you normally
get is there certain questions that people are always asking yeah I mean I think it’s just a generalization like
you say our society has not grown up around birth being a normal thing and
you know back in the day you’d be in your house with the women of the family moms aunties sisters grandmas around you
to support you in birth and that’s kind of where midwives actually came from is like you know with woman is what Midwife
actually means so it’s all about being with the women and supporting them through lifechanging thing so often I
think we’ve lost that you know in the UK I worked um with a home birth team when I was a student midwife and it was
amazing because actually the first home birth I ever saw was um it was her I think fourth baby of all girls she was
also one of I think maybe four girls and her daughters were around they were you
know just they were quite little but they were aware of what was going on and then as soon as the baby was born they
all were crowded around her pool that she had at home and yeah it was such a lovely experience and for me that’s like
Ah that’s what Bird’s really about and you know unfortunately through time it’s great we have medical advances and we
give birth in hospitals sometimes but they do save lives but also I think we’ve forgotten what nature intended and
I teach a hypn birthing so the way I think about birth is sometimes a bit different it’s kind of going back to
okay well what did nature intend what was the reason for that and how can we make that possible in a hospital setting
for example so especially around like pain and contractions and the actual
giving birth it’s just really about reframing the way you think about it and
and that’s kind of what the hypn birthing is all about because basically if I was to ask you guys what’s the
first three things that pop into your head when you think about becoming a parent labor but give me an example of
what you think of pain pain yeah fa yeah not prepared
unprepared and I always do that actually at the start of my HIIT birthing classes and then by the end we get the pieces of
paper back out and say have I changed your mind um because actually you know it all about just reframing your brain
because your subconscious is there to keep you alive it’s like your fight or flight and again hospitals also are
usually a place you come if you’re unwell or something it’s not good or family members not well so they’re all
negative things and you know luckily in Dubai a lot of the time we choose hospitals for different things so you
might only come here because you’re pregnant and because you’re having that nice experience but still it’s just your
body knows you’re in this kind of scenario so it thinks adrenaline I need to save myself like why am I here kind
of thing and especially in labor that can be really kind of slow down the process and you know ping these thoughts
of fight or flight which is the last thing that we need when we try to calm and in control and get those good
labor hormones going so basically what you need to do is reframe what your subconscious think so the way you do
that is just exposing yourself to positives so positive birth stories positive affirmations speaking to
like-minded people speaking to midwives you know all of these kind of things that tell you that it’s not as bad as
you think it is and you know we wouldn’t make good TV or films if we had these lovely normal birs they want a bit of
drama so they’re never going to show you truly what birth is and you know I’ve been with hundreds of women in labor and
actually a tiny tiny proportion of the time is it actually an emergency where
it’s not so calm and in control but the majority of people do have positive births but they don’t tell people about
them because we’re not programmed to tell people about the positive things we’re always tell a negative um actually
a doctor was telling me the other day that you know if someone had a negative experience they’d tell 500 people but if
someone had a positive they till 5 so we don’t hear these you know and especially when you’re pregnant everyone rushes to
tell you their awful birth stories and you think why you know or even to ask about the hard part so what do I need to
like watch out for and stuff but not really ask about okay what was good yeah absolutely and it’s really sad because
actually it’s amazing and for me like where my background when I was a student
was and why I found the hypn birthing route kind of the way I try to practice my Midwifery is so I was doing a nursing
placement and um I was on a like a Alzheimer’s Ward and there was a lady
who was I think she was about 90 really Advanced dementia and she couldn’t even
tell me what day of the week it was but she noticed on my badge that I was a midwife and she said oh what are you
doing here and and then she said um all six of her births she could tell me from start to finish and I was like that is
amazing so that just shows how important your birth experience is and for a lot
of people it’s just like I’m going to go in I’m going to get it done and then I’ll have a baby at the end but it’s not about that because it stays with you
forever and actually you know being prepared will make it a positive
experience no matter what it looks like so whether you you know plan a natural water birth with no medication or you’re
having a planned elective C-section or you want an epidural whatever that is as long as you’re well informed and
prepared and you’re making decisions that are right for you that’s the most important thing and it will be the best
day ever cuz you’re meeting your baby after all this time and it will like although yes you might have other babies
and there’s other times to have different experiences the thing I always say and people listening that have met
me will laugh CU I always say it is you only have one chance to have that baby so the baby that’s being grown right now
you have one chance of doing that birth so don’t compromise don’t feel like oh just see you know plan for it educate
yourself make sure you’re happy along the way ask question questions feel well supported cuz that’s the thing that will
reduce the likelihood of birth trauma or and especially for dads as well because actually a lot of dads are the ones that
come away maybe with like birst trauma or negative experiences because the moms obviously get so much going on and
hormones and everything and baby pain relief but for the dads they’re almost like sober in that situation they’re
taking everything in and often the mom might have gaps in the memory that then the dad will fill in so even again again
like in all of our classes we encourage the dads to come along and and educate themselves as well one to be a really good birth partner but also to process
it themselves because they’re also going through they’re becoming a dad they’re going to have this new baby to look after and they’re going to see their
partner the person that they love you know going through something that if they don’t know what’s going on it can be really scary so it’s really important
really as a team you know whether your birth partner is your husband or your mom or a friend whoever it is do it
together cuz the preparation together will then make the birth experience and life with a newborn much easier and
hopefully more positive as well your positive opin and Outlook is exactly what people when they H in the rooms
like you can do this you’ve got this it’s a good so the message really is to enjoy it like where you can like it
doesn’t have to be scary I mean everyone’s going to be scared because it’s the unknown and you don’t know but
yeah you got to enjoy it and I think as well we can take comfort in the fact that like our bodies are amazing and
they know what to do right like they your body will give you signs and tell you what to do throughout the whole
process yeah and that’s another thing that I always like when I say Going Back To Nature is actually you know your body
you trust it to grow the baby for nine months and then we suddenly lose this trust when it when we have to give birth
it’s like why have you lost the trust now it’s done it’s grown those eyelashes it’s growing those fingernails and every little detail it’s just that it is our
kind of subconscious and that’s telling us that birth is scary birth is this awful thing that we cannot you know do
and we need help for it okay so you just given the birth your baby you’ve had a wonderful experience it was great the
fear of then having this human to look out so it’s out of its little bubble
it’s out of the controlled environment what’s the next step yeah
and that often is the really scary part because you’re in the hospital you’ve got you know a nurse at the end of a
buzzer you’ve got doctors always checking and then you’re sent off home and then it’s like okay what now and and
often you know parents say they just are looking at this new baby they’re like okay this is mine now I’ve got to keep
this little thing alive and fed and watered and happy and honestly you know
it is a challenging time and this is where I think the teamwork really comes in yeah however you’re feeding your baby
whatever choices you make is you know make sure you’ve got that support system around you as much as you can and we’re
looking at Kings actually my colleague Nicola she does the home visits so for us in the UK Community midwives is a
standard you would always have a community Midwife come out to you at home usually the day after you’ve gone
home from the hospital and then usually like back day five and maybe day 10 um
but here obviously it’s a bit different because midwives are always like an added extra um but actually a lot of
insurance companies do cover it here so it’s always worth checking and if not then it’s worth every penny um because
it is it bridges that Gap um you know if you don’t have another appointment back in the hospital for a week or two weeks
then it’s a long time with a new baby to know they’re okay and they’re gaining weight and you know their Dawn dis
levels are okay all these kind of things that you just want to know and again our Midwife advisory line is still open once
he have the baby so we can still help as much as possible um always again I get lots of pictures of rashes and different
things and cords and say is this okay is this normal and that’s fine that’s that’s why we are here um but it’s great
to be able to have someone to come out to your house that is a clinical professional and we’ll bring the kit
that we need to do not only for babies but also for the mom so we’ll also do a top to check top to toe check of mom and
um you know if you had any stitches or you had a C-section and your wound um to be checked nickel it all of that as well
so it definitely is just get your village I actually went to an event yesterday that said it takes a village
and it’s very true and think about it beforehand because sometimes it’s a bit too late when you get there and you’re
like oh overwhelmed and over tired and and it’s just you and your partner maybe you know then it’s difficult to find it
but SE these things out beforehand and have like an action plan in place almost so okay you know I my first plan is to
exclusively breastfeed if there’s any issues with that then who am I going to go to for support okay well I’ve got the
midwives I’ve got the lactation consultant I’ve got you know external providers like all of these things that
you can line up so if you need them you’ve got them hopefully you won’t but at least then you’ve got a plan and it’s
not like 2 a.m. and Dr Google comes in and and you know frantically looking for
an answer um yeah that’s that’s really a good idea to do beforehand so one thing
you mentioned Hypno birthing I don’t know if we actually mentioned what it was uhhuh can we quickly just describe
do you know what it is no idea so I know it’s about positive affirmations and reframing the way that you think about
pregnancy breathing techniques I’ve been to an event with Maddie where she’s done what is the what is the
shap so yeah please continue explain yeah absolutely and basically what it is
is just gaining knowledge so it’s like an indepth antinal education so
obviously we have like General antinator classes that cover a bit of everything um but this the way I teach it is over a
month so it’s like every we do it every Tuesday evening um for two hours with
your birth partner comes along it’s actually very birth partner focused um and I teach from a UK company the little
Birth Company um so it’s brilliant it’s just one of those things that everyone who’s done it doesn’t regret it even if
they had an emergency c section and it was you know we planned for plan a and we ended up at plan Z you know it still
was helpful you know and really it is learning the evidence behind the care that you’re getting so you can advocate
for yourself know that the choices you’re making are the right ones for you it is very much geared around a positive
birth experience so no matter what that looks like it can still be positive because you’ve prepared and because you
know you’ve got a good team around you you know you’ve maybe prepared with your husband or you’ve got a Dueler or
anything like that um really it is like you say breathing techniques is a big one a lot of women who do the hypn
birthing do choose to kind of avoid pain medication but it’s not a must you can still plan to have an epidural or or use
an epidural and still use the techniques really as as well it’s about learning what your body’s doing so start to
finish what does label look like you know what is happening on the inside so you can recognize if something’s outside
of that normal and then think about things you can do to help your body so working with it and not against it is a
massive one um and I think once you have that understanding it all gets a bit less scary anyway um because you just
know okay you know this is a normal thing it might take a couple of days of stop and start contractions and a first
time M you know I’m not flock watching and you waiting for all this to happen and think oh it’s too slow something
must be wrong you know it’s normal so already you’re more calm and therefore your birthing hormones will do what they
need to do so it really is trust in the process as well and understanding we
can’t always plan for birth these babies and your body might decide something different on the day or on the leadup
and the plan might change but knowing we do a lot of scenarios as well so if this was to happen you know what does the
evidence say and making it individualized as well because you know a lot of the things that we do teach in
the anti-at class for example we have to make it General because there’s all sorts of women with different scenarios
and backgrounds within it that a lot of the time is just having like the one-on-one time as well so again drop
into the clinic if you have anything along the along the way because we have to look through all your pregnancy notes
if you’ve got any medical history um and sometimes I think it’s forgotten because we do a lot of the like sideline things
here we are clinical professionals so we can assess your pregnancy we can
recommend if a water birth for example would be recommended or there’s reasons that it might not be so safe all of this
kind of thing alongside your obstetrician and we do work very closely with them to figure out you know is
there a way that this might be outside the guideline but what’s the way we can work that so you still can get the
things that are most important to you out of it um all of this is really relevant to HP birthing but also mid
wise in general and what our role is and which I also don’t think people really know cuz we’re not midwives aren’t a
thing in every country um we’re lucky in M we are the lead care providers so you
know we actually only refer to a doctor if something’s wrong so it’s good thing if you don’t see a doctor there whereas here it’s the complete opposite so a lot
of women um especially from European countries because midwives are often the lead care providers for normal pregnancy
um are kind of shocked where it’s like well who’s my Midwife where is my Midwife and that’s kind of what we’re
trying to do with our new team is be everyone’s Midwife as much as possible it’s a lot of work but it’s it’s nice
because we can follow people through all the way if they want to they could come and see us after every doctor’s appointment if they want to as well so
it is just knowing that we’re there and that’s what we’re here for so really you are like a a huge pillar of support for
these women right yes then your roll in a nutshell exactly that’s all we do yeah
absolutely but I think as well it’s important to know that when you are in labor you’ll have onetoone care with
Midwife um obviously cuz we’re King’s London we’re trying to match that British care as much as possible and
that’s what you would have in the UK um and obviously we work again alongside jobs attrition very closely um with the
plan and updating them but often that large sense of support and clinical care for labor is from The Midwives and so
that’s also something that people don’t know until they turn up on the day um you know it’s not necessarily that you
can meet them before because we all do shifts and but actually even if you can’t meet them before they’re all great
so you’re in good hands with whoever you’re with um and again midwives are trained to be Advocates we are the
experts in normal and even if you have a very high risk pregnancy we can still make the things happen so for example
you want your music on you want the lights low you want to be mobile we’re there to suggest positions and monitor
the baby monitor the labor you know give suggestions if things are slowed down how can we help to speed them up you
know aside from medication you know positioning and breathing and all sorts of things really as a sense of support
but at the end of the day as well we are clinically trained professionals to spot if something’s outside of that normal so
if it is that’s our time to refer to a doctor which again would be our UK practice but even more so here the
doctors obviously around a bit more because they’re the lead care provider um but we are often the ones who are you
know reading the heart rate of the baby assessing the contractions doing like
the internal examinations to see dilation all of these kind of things so it’s a bit of both we’re a bit of
everything really okay so we’re going to finish off with our final question that we ask everyone and yours is what is
your top secret for dealing with pregnancy okay I think the biggest thing is don’t forget that your body knows
what it’s doing trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself
because you know your body best and you will know your baby best whether it’s in pregnancy whether it’s during labor or
when the baby’s born you know you will be thrown loads of kind of tests and scans and vaccinations and options and
it’s difficult to navigate that so seek help don’t Dr Google it um and and
honestly trust your instincts is my biggest message because you know we have lost that over time and we need to
definitely trust ourselves our bodies are amazing things that that do incredible things as well so trust it
and don’t be afraid to reach out because we’re here to help yeah thank you so much for coming
on the H we have so many questions so we’ll probably have you on again I’m
s thank you
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